Will You Take My Money?

I told you last week that this week's post was going to relay a good customer service story, to offset the tale about Shmukdonald's. But something happened this afternoon that really hits a nerve with me.

The contact management system that I use underwent a major overhaul recently, and I despise the new system. (My aversion to change may be coming into play there. I don't know.) I checked out several systems, and found the one I thought would work best for me. I just had one small question. That's where things went awry.

I had emailed my question on three successive days to the salesperson who had replied to my initial inquiry, with nary a word back. Clearly, time for a phone call. I should have taken it as a warning that I had to search the company's site for 10 minutes before I found a phone number (a toll number) in very small print on an obscure 'other details' page.

Call one was answered by an auto-responder. I'm no Luddite, but I am a big enough believer in customer service that auto-responders always set my teeth on edge. I hit 'eight, for sales' as directed. Eleven rings later a happy-salesy voice thanked me for my call, assured me that everyone in sales was busy as a one- legged man in a butt- kicking contest, but if I would leave a message my call would be answered in the order it was received. I left a message that hit about a four on the one-to-ten grumpiness scale and also referred to the three unanswered voice mails.

Forty minutes later, call two. Hitting 'eight' again got the same voice mail message. I left no message of my own, called right back with call number three. This time I followed the responder’s admonition to hit 'four' for service. Ten rings got me 'Here in service we're even busier than those fools over in sales.' I was once again assured of the importance of my call, and promised a returned call in the order my call was received. 

I didn't leave a message and immediately placed call four. At the sound of the auto-responder I hit 'zero', and waited happily for the sound of a human voice.

"You have reached the general mailbox. We apologize, but this mailbox is full. Please push....."

You gotta be kidding me. Calls four through eight were just me hitting random numbers- there had to be a human being somewhere. At this point I wouldn't do business with this company if they were selling quarters for a dime, but I was determined to hear a human voice before I went on to the next company. 

Hitting the pound sign on call nine was promising- it sent me to the company directory. Unfortunately, no entry that I tried led to a valid extension. Not Smith, Jones, Miller, Baker, Tom, Steve, Angelique (my email tormentor from last week), Emily, Katie, Thomas, Thompson, Stewart or Wilson. 

I gave up.

That ttok place over five hours ago. My voicemail, like last week's emails, remains unanswered. All I wanted was an answer to an easy question, and to give them my money. 

I promise you- no company has ever gone broke from the cost of having a live, friendly person answer the phone in less than four rings. 

There are customers out there trying to give you their money. Do you want it?